Be warned, much of this speech is littered with the type of hilariously spot-on vulgarity Schumer is known for, so if you’re at work, you might want to plug in those headphones. From declarations about her rockin’ bod. (“I’m probably like, 160 pounds right now and I can still catch a dick whenever I want,”) to a golden anecdote about losing her front teeth and getting her period in the same week as a girl, Schumer absolutely nails this speech and had us howling through the whole thing.
Watch Schumer’s epic speech in the video above.
[h/t Vulture]
