Speculation about what was in Needleman’s Times offer is really … you know, speculation-y. The entire universe is just like, a giant Deborah Needleman love fest. Everywhere I go, people are all, “I love Deborah Needleman.” “Oh, I LOVE Deborah Needleman.” “You know who I love? Deborah Needleman.” So much love in the world!
And so, considering all this love and also considering what a battle it was for The Times to hire her, her T Magazine package likely included something she couldn’t refuse. Some possibilities:
- Immortality.
- Eternal bliss.
- Photokinesis.
- A fountain of youth.
- A genie in a bottle.
- A philosopher’s stone.
- A goblet of fire.
- The pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.
- Sweet dreams.
- No GIFs, ever.
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