There are practical gift lists, and then there are fantasy gift lists. It’s all about going beyond that once-in-a-lifetime sensibility to make sky-is-the-limit spending on holiday gifts seem off-the-cuff casual. A $800 baseball cap? Sure, Jay Z! Get ready to either wallow in jealousy or rail against the capitalist system as you see what the 1% will be finding under their gold-dipped trees this holiday.
Luxury Porn: The Most OTT gift lists
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Neiman Marcus The Christmas Book
This is one of the luxury gift lists that started it all, at least for me. (I received my first Burberry scarf from the catalog and thought myself quite fancy.) Before luxury was such a spectator's sport, you could buy Neiman Marcus's The Christmas Book for $5 in store or online and gawp at things like custom helicopters and estate jewelry. Over the years, more affordable items have crept into the book, but it still doesn't disappoint. This year's retail foreplay kicks off with a $150,000 Global Falconry Companion, a $20,000 Jeff Koons sculpture exclusive to Dom Perignon and a His-and-Hers Outdoor Entertainment System, starting at 1.5 million. The most expensive item? The $1.85 million Diamond Experience where two people will travel first to London to DeBeers headquarters to view and name their sparkling new 25-carat diamond, then to Africa to see where their gem was discovered, and back to New York to design the ring that will showcase the diamond.
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A New York Holiday from Barneys and Jay Z
Far be it from controversial retail couple Barneys New York and Jay Z to let a holiday pass without a gift list, so they've come up with a limited-edition collection all proceeds from which will benefit the Shawn Carter Foundation. The list is actually kind of boring, though your accountant surely won't find it so. There are $995 Tee Shirts, a $33,000 watch and a $4,500 throw.
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Gwyneth Paltrow's goop Wish List
Let's just get it out there that goop is just a nonstop torrent of luxury porn. (See what I did there?) Gwynnie and company toss off items like a $840 24K Gold iPhone horn. ??? It apparently amplifies audio, like you know, like those newfangled SPEAKERS the rest of us use that cost $500 less for actual modern technology. But rather than outrageously expensive, perhaps under fire for her high-end shopping suggestions, these items are largely outrageously Not Real Things People Give. Under the "inspiring ideas" section she suggests a vintage ironstone teapot filled with slips of paper listing all the reasons you love the recipient. Or, if you can't spend a lot of money, fold 1,000 paper cranes for a friend who needs a wish. What? Gwyneth. Stop.
And may I point out that Gwyneth's list is kind of hard to shop. Many items aren't available online and at least half the prices are only available on request. So rarefied, Gwynnie, so rarified.
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The AHALife Holiday Guide
The AHALife is the company that last year brought us a gift list with a $19 million private island and a $20,000 treehouse, the latter of which actually sold. It seems like they've scaled back this year. Having grabbed the necessary eyeballs with sticker-shocking items last year, they are catering to a well-off clientele with items in all price ranges. Their gift lists have names like What A Gay Wants, Gifts For Your Therapist and Gifts For Your Guru, No Meditation Required. Sure there are $95,000 diamond Iceberg Earrings, but the more interesting items are things like this $75 Fuck Off Wax Seal.
